One morning this week, I was in my morning routine (blindly reaching for coffee, putting on clothes back to front, removing, putting them on again the right way around), when a moment caught my eye, my emotions and evoked a huge moment of nostalgia in me. I felt my whole body come to a standstill and was whisked away into a moment that I realised has been long unlived.
If you sing, or perform in some way then maybe you know this moment well; even recalling it to mind gives me a slither of the feeling. It’s that moment, when you are jamming, or even full on performing, and you hit that sweet spot, and you glance at the other person(s) and that look you exchange; that look, and the feeling that swells up with it, that was what consumed my whole being into what I can only describe as homesickness.
I’ve never had homesickness (Dad you may have a different story – but I don’t ever remember it) but I have had leaving sickness. I used to be inconsolable as we left my gran, uncle and cousins homes. I vividly remember my parents having to stop the car to calm me down. The feeling that suddenly took hold of me was similar, I was not inconsolable but the grip it had on me was so strong, it took me a moment to find my balance
I miss these little moments:
Catching someone’s eye when hitting a great sound
bumping into people in the supermarket and catching up
being in a coffee shop, when someone you know walks in (apologies introverts)
being in a coffee shop, with just my journal and a flat white
eye contact – seriously why are people not giving it?
“anyone fancy a coffee” moments in the office
that one person at church, who takes you aside to pray, when you most need it but can’t verbalise it
hugs
accidental touch
post show highs/adrenaline
Much as I thought I already knew it, it is the little things that bring joy to our lives. Thankfully we are still able to get out into nature and seeing winter and spring flowers breaking through, has been of great comfort
Like a stone in a shoe, it is the small things that make an impact. I hope, these are things I never take for granted again. They are, I have come to realise, irreplaceable.
Becoming Strong
Yet, it is also the little things that make us strong.
If you watched my previous video, you will know that January wasn’t the easiest month. I think I described it as plodding. What I kept reminding myself though, was as I took one step at a time, as I repeated healthy actions, strength would come. When I used to have a PT (the lovely Kerry) she would set me exercises, with sets and reps. The same thing over and over again until I became strong. Then we would add to the weight and do it again. Strength training is not flashy, it’s commitment to tedium; and it works! Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoyed it – but what I mean is it’s not a one off miracle makeover. It’s small repetitive movements, time and time again.
In January this meant: making sure I moved 5/7 days, fasting from social media, consistently reading my bible, carving out time to enjoy God, study, turning up to work, budgeting and daily thankfulness. February hit, and something lifted (and I don’t think it was just because I started to drink coffee again!). Small repetitive movements, strengthen us over time.
Strengthen is the theme of my year. Last year, Jesus shifted something thinking in me and I began to see fruitfulness in what He was doing. This year is about strengthening my faith, mind, body, connections, passions and confidence. It means thinking about what I say yes to, training, noting the weaker parts, tracking, pushing past excuses but recognising when rest is needed, embracing resistance, resting in Him.
I hope you enjoy coming on this journey with me. What little things bring joy, hope and strength to you?
~Lx
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