Last week I met a man who’s eyes and heart were far younger than his age He told me he had been married sixty-two years, He told me it was the best decision he ever made He told me women were stronger than men
and people should realise that more
He told me all this because he is a man from time forgot. He didn’t know that in a doctor’s waiting room, it is prescriptive to pull out your phone and scroll mindlessly He does not know that the only time when speaking is permitted is to complain He had no complaints – well no verbal ones
He created community, he created joy and I did not feel the need to check my phone
even when he left
I am pretty sure, by now, most people have seen this video. The part that got me was about the message you give to someone when you pull out a phone while you are together. I know it’s true because it happened to me. As a youth mentor, it is something I am careful not to do, I want them to know I value their time. In my personal life, I’m slipping. I don’t want to be that person.
Over the last few months I have made a few changes when it comes to my phone:
I had a month off of Instagram I engage with my online community (to me this makes it more mindful rather than endelessly scrolling) I charge my devices outside my room I regularly turn off social media at 9.30pm I very rarely have screens in my room or the bathroom (except for Bed Bath & Film time) I have started reading and writing again to curb nmy scrolling I keep my phone in my bag rather than on the table when hanging out
I do this because I want authentic community, deep relationships with people, not just followers who are never going to engage. I want people to know they’re worth my time.
The problem is, I’ve started slipping into bad habits, mindlessly scrolling, back to backing box sets through mindlessness rather than chosen rest, checking stats as if somehow they verify me as a person, putting my phone on the table while we coffee!
I see now, that these behaviours affect me socially and emotionally. They affect my productivity levels in and out of work. They affect me spiritually.
My biggest habit was to get up and go check my phone before anything else. I have in the last week slipped into that again. Before the glass of water, before the shower, before prayer – the one thing that launches me from my bed it to check I’ve not missed anything.
One morning Lysa TerKeust tweeted this, it was one of the first things I read that day. It smacked me in the face, and I missed it – I pressed the red heart, nodded my head and carried on scrolling.
Then I felt the conviction and re-read the post:
“When I wake up, my mind is like a dry sponge. What I soak up first will saturate me most deeply.”
What was I soaking up?
Some posts were making me think – true; but many made me annoyed, jealous, materialistic, confused. Many of them promoted my mindlessness. Is that really what I want to saturate myself in?
I’ve broken the habit.
I’m back with my journal and glass of water first thing on wake up. I love it, it strengthens me, it encourages me and it focuses me on the day ahead.
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