Thirsty

Well, it’s been a while friends! How are you doing with your lent fasts?

I don’t think I have spoken yet about mine, I think I thought I’d have been a master blogger by now because of it. Yet instead, it has opened up something about my heart – and it’s unfolded a question

What are you thirsting for?

Back in half term (the week before Lent. My colleague and I spent a beautiful day at The Living Well in Nonington. Taking some time to wander around the gardens and pray, I was drawn to this bird bath, and particularly the decorative birds who were not near the water, and who were unable to fly. At the time, I just took a picture a pocketed it for later.

Day Four of the Lent TV Fast

I knew, that God was speaking to me about my TV consumption. It had got out of control, I was watching it at every chance, taking the tablet as I went to sleep, becoming late for things because I’d got carried away watching. It was stopping me from completing goals I had set myself but most crucially I was choosing it over my devotional time. I would start writing, reading and praying only to find myself thinking how long I could ‘get away with’ before I turned back to TV.

Day four of lent, I awake with backache. I know this one; this is the one that happens when I don’t drink enough water over a few days. It leaves me tired, grouchy and overheated. n top of that, I was aware I had drunk more coffee than normal and eaten a saltier diet. I was thirsty, but it was only when the pain hit, that I realised my fault.

What am I thirsting for?

I was treating my TV like a thirsty woman – as if the next episode of [insert latest box set] was going to disappear if I didn’t keep watching. I was saturating myself with what would never satisfy and it was changing my behaviour and I hadn’t noticed until now. I remembered the picture, this is how I had become – like stone because I had not be saturated in the water

What I thought would happen, is I would revel in my released-ness. That as soon as I had taken away the distraction, I would use my time more wisely. Whilst I have gone to bed without the TV, Listened to more podcasts, read a bit more; I know that there is more for me if I take my evenings for listening and writing. I have replaced the TV ‘drink’ with more things that don’t quench the thirst in a bid to not be bored or quit the fast

So for the second half of Lent, I am not planning to fill the time I have in order to not be tempted to watch TV or in fear of being bored. Instead, I am allowing my internal reflective side to come alive, to seek and to change my heart to thirst for Jesus.